Transcript: Episode Nine – The Poltergeist (Part One)

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The Way We Haunt Now

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Episode Nine – The Poltergeist (Part One)

CW: This one goes out to my ghosts, ghouls, goblins, and folks who go bump in the night who might need a little warning that this episode contains animal sounds [12:04-13:16]. Timestamps in the transcripts. 

SCENE 51

SFX: Hospital monitors beeping. 

PARKER: Please, Eulie. Please wake up.

SFX: Hospital monitors continue beeping. After a long pause, Eulalie takes a gasping breath.

EULALIE: Parker? 

PARKER: (choking sob) 

SFX: Theme music (simple guitar with spectral oohs and ohs and occasional cymbal crashes) fades in…

COURTNEY: (V.O.) The Way We Haunt Now, Episode Nine: The Poltergeist (Part One)

SFX: Theme music fades out…

EULALIE: Parker… Who are those people?

PARKER: You’re awake. Eulalie, you’re really awake. (Sobbing) (pause) What people? Who are you talking about? There’s nobody here.

EULALIE: Those people behind you? The women? They said their friend is in trouble.

SFX: Rustling as Parker turns around to look.

PARKER: There’s nobody there, sweetie. Maybe it’s the drugs?

EULALIE: No…. No, I don’t think so. 

MARY: Eulalie, you don’t know us, but we need your help.

LOTA: Our friend is in trouble, and you’re the only one who can help us save her.

EULALIE: Your friend?

PARKER: (a little bit scared) Eulie, honey, who are you talking to?

JOSIE: Frankie. She was stuck in the phonograph until you found it.

SFX: Hospital monitors spike as eulalie’s heart starts to race

EULALIE: The phonograph?

PARKER: Eulalie? I’m going to go get the doctor.

EULALIE: No. Find Alicia.

PARKER: Who’s Alicia? 

EULALIE: The… My… The new lady doctor.

PARKER: Your…? Oh! Ohhhhh. She works here? Where can I find her?

EULALIE: I don’t know. Maybe the nurses can tell you? Alicia will know what to do.

PARKER: Okay. I–– Are you going to be alright? I’m going to leave for a minute to find her. I’ll be right back.

EULALIE: Yes. I’ll be fine. Go.

SFX: Parker’s footsteps head away, the hospital room door opens and closes.

EULALIE: (Clears throat). Now, you…people…whoever and whatever you are, tell me why I should help the ghost who put me here. 

MARY: It’s… A long story.

EULALIE: Well, I’m not going anywhere fast. I’m still hooked up to all the equipment. So start talking.

SFX: A ghostly soundscape of crows cawing, cicadas and frogs singing fades in softly…

MARY: (Narrator Voice) Ghosts, like everyone else on this spinning marble, live––or, operate, anyway––by a set of rules….

SCENE 52

SFX: Poltergeist sounds; Frankie crying

CAS: We cast you out with salt and rosemary

MYRTLE: We cast you out with voices raised as one

DANNY: We cast you out with salt and rosemary

NICK: We cast you out with voices raised as one

MYRTLE: (more intensely) We cast you out with salt and rosemary

CAS: (more intensely) We cast you out with voices raised as one

NICK: (more intensely) We cast you out with salt and rosemary

DANNY: (more intensely) We cast you out with voices raised as one

ALL TOGETHER: We cast you out. We cast you out. We cast you out. We cast you out. We cast you out. We cast you out. We cast you out.

SFX: Frankie screams…

SCENE 53

SFX: Poltergeist sounds and phonograph crackling. Ghost hunters chanting the words of their exorcism in the background throughout…

FRANKIE: They can’t hear me. All they can hear is you. I should be angry. I should smash you. But I… I’m so tired of breaking things. And I can’t help but feel like you’re part of me. And besides, I need someone to talk to. If only to distract myself from the pain.

(Panting) I don’t think my friends are going to make it in time. If they’re even coming. I promised them I wouldn’t go to the hospital. I promised them I wouldn’t come back here. I wouldn’t blame them if they just left me to this.

Something is holding me here. Like it wants me…needs me…to stay. Like you did, after I died. And I’m so tired. I’m so tired of fighting. Of trying so hard to follow rules and somehow breaking them anyway. Of hurting people. Of pain and confusion and grief, no matter what I do or where I go. Maybe it’s better this way.  

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) maybe. better.

FRANKIE: (not noticing) Maybe mama was right. Maybe it’s all the wanting that makes life unbearable. Maybe it was too much to expect that in the afterlife I could finally have adventure. Explore the world. Explore myself. I spent twenty-seven years trapped in my father’s parlor and a sick room, 120 years trapped in a phonograph, and now… Now I’m going to be obliterated. Just when I thought––

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) no. need. (Pause) stay. 

SCENE 54

SFX: Hospital monitor beeping…

ALICIA: Let me get this straight, there are ghosts here right now?

EULALIE: Yes.

ALICIA: But not the one who was haunting you before?

EULALIE: Right.

ALICIA: Because that ghost is in trouble? And these ghosts want you to help her?

EULALIE: Got it in one. 

PARKER: (aside to Alicia) Is she on something that causes hallucinations? Or did something happen to her brain in the crash?

EULALIE: Hey, I’m right here. And I’m not hallucinating or having a brain bleed. At least, as far as I know. 

ALICIA: Her scans came back normal this morning. Or, at least, as normal as can be expected. And nothing they’ve got her on for pain should cause hallucinations.

PARKER: So, you’re saying she’s––

EULALIE: ––She’s saying I’m in my right mind. These ghosts are real. (Sighs) And I have a decision to make. Save the ghost who almost killed me, or (voice gets awkward because she’s guilty) let a bunch of ghost hunters destroy her completely.

PARKER: Um. Seems like an easy choice to me.

ALICIA: Is it, though? We don’t know why the ghost did what it did. Maybe it was a cry for help.

MARY: We’re running out of time. Please.

LOTA: She’s our friend.

JOSIE: She was learning a better way to haunt. We were helping her.

EULALIE: Look. I’m going to need you to tell my sister and my… Um. Alicia… what you told me. And start from the beginning. I won’t do it if they still think I shouldn’t afterward.

MARY: We can’t speak directly to them.

EULALIE: Fine. I’ll translate, or whatever.

JOSIE: (whispering) Give them the Cliff Notes version, this time?

LOTA: (also whispering) Just in case this doesn’t work out, I’m working on a plan B. If I’m not back in time, I’ll meet you at the apartment.

MARY: (whispering) Hurry.

SFX: Joystick click and power wheelchair motor whirring as Lota whooshes away…

EULALIE: Didn’t you say this was time sensitive?

SFX: A ghostly soundscape of crows cawing, cicadas and frogs singing fades in softly…

MARY: (clears throat) (weary) This is an old story. Girl meets ghost. Ghost haunts girl…

SCENE 55

SFX: Hospital monitors beeping.

PARKER: (across room) The coast is clear. 

SFX: Hospital monitors stop beeping as Alicia unhooks Eulalie. They briefly flatline before the machine is turned off. Footsteps as Parker crosses the room from door to bed.

ALICIA: There. You’re all unhooked. 

SFX: Parker’s footsteps approach the bed. alicia heads to the door.

PARKER: I’m still not really sure why we’re doing this. You just woke up from a coma. You need to be monitored and take it easy. You need to stay safe.

EULALIE: It’s… I don’t have time to explain again. I just need all of this to mean something.  I need something good to come from all this… Bad.

PARKER: She’s already dead.

EULALIE: (frustrated sound) So was I. For a minute. I think. (Pause) Maybe not technically, but I was. I knew it. And it was like I was pinwheeling through dark empty space without anything to grasp onto except what I thought the afterlife should be like.  So no, I don’t like what she did to me. But I understand now. At least a little. And I just… I don’t think she deserves to be completely destroyed just because she latched onto some outdated rules and I got hurt. Even if she does… Letting it happen would make me just as guilty. Because I freaked out, and I might have … (gets really quiet and talks really fast) I might have been the person who emailed those ghost hunters.

PARKER: Look. I won’t stop you. But if you get yourself killed, I’m going to make your afterlife a torment. We’re talking AQUA’s “Barbie Girl” and Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” on repeat for the rest of eternity.

EULALIE: I better not get myself killed, then.

PARKER: (tearful whisper) You better not.

ALICIA: (across the room) Okay. The coast is clear. Move, move, move…

PARKER: (clears throat) Hang on sis.

SFX: Eulalie slumps into a hospital wheelchair. Footsteps as Parker pushes it across the room and Alicia joins. The door opens and the sounds of the hospital fade in. As the group keeps walking, the hospital room door shuts behind them… 

ALICIA: (jogging and whispering) Remember, just keep moving with purpose and odds are nobody will bother you. I’ll be ready to distract them if they do.

EULALIE: Thank you for doing this. I hope it doesn’t get you in trouble…

ALICIA: I hope so too. Now, let’s go save a ghost.

SCENE 56

SFX: Ghost house ambiance (floor boards creaking, a spooky breeze, and windchimes) in background throughout scene…

LOTA: (Talking to animals) Hey, clever friends. I need your help with something.

SFX: Raccoon chirping inquisitively.

LOTA: A friend of mine is in danger. Ghost hunters.

SFX: Danger chirps from the whole group.

LOTA: I know. I just need you to distract them. They won’t be able to pin any of you down long enough to exorcise you if you all work together, and besides they’ll be so focused on my friend that they won’t be able to redirect your efforts. 

SFX: Thoughtful chirps.

LOTA: I won’t lie. It’s still dangerous. They have rock salt and rosemary. They might be able to harm us. But I just need you to distract them long enough for the humans to sneak in and disrupt them… What do you say?

SFX: Wraith raccoon discussion ensues…

SCENE 57

SFX: Rain and driving sounds throughout scene…

Jon Harker: (On radio in background) For those of you just tuning in, that was “A Ghost Waltz” by Loyalty Freak Music. I’m Jon Harker, and this is KBOU, your home for the morbid, the macabre, the ghoulish. Alright listeners, it’s “Halloween Again” by the Zombie Dandies! 

SFX: “Halloween Again” by the Zombie Dandies plays on the radio.

ALICIA: We’re almost there. What do they need us to do, Eulalie?

MARY: (To Eulalie) They need to break the salt circle so Josie and I can get inside. And they need to get you inside. And they need to get the ghost hunters to leave, if possible. And destroy their equipment so this doesn’t end up going viral online.

EULALIE: They say there’s a salt circle that needs to be broken. And you need to get me inside and run off the ghost hunters somehow. And trash their stuff.

PARKER: Something to take my worry and frustration out on? Just what I’ve been waiting for.

ALICIA: If this ghost is turning into a poltergeist, you’ll be in danger.

JOSIE AND MARY: It’s––

EULALIE: ––I’ve got this one, thanks. (To Alicia) It’s not like that. Frankie doesn’t want to hurt me anymore.

ALICIA: I don’t mean from Frankie. I mean from the house.

MARY: She’s not wrong. Who is this woman?

EULALIE: What do you mean she’s not wrong? It’s just a house. I’ve lived there for a year.

ALICIA: But it’s awake now. And it knows it can grab onto things. People. It wants Frankie. But it might also want you. Or, if Frankie escapes, it might just decide to take you instead.

EULALIE: But I’m not dead.

MARY: But you were.

ALICIA: But you came close, and you could again. People die at home all the time. A trip down the stairs. A slip in the bathtub. Houses have all sorts of tricks…

MARY: Again. Who is this woman? 

EULALIE: How do you know so much about this?

ALICIA: We’re here. 

EULALIE: You didn’t answer my question.

PARKER: (feeling awkward) We ready?

JOSIE: I hope Lota’s on her way. I don’t have a great feeling about this.

SFX: Keys jangling. Raccoon chirping outside car window.

ALICIA: I’ll explain everything when this is over, Eulalie. I promise. Just, please, be careful in there?

EULALIE: (huffs). Okay. Fine. And… I’ll try.

ALICIA: That’ll have to be good enough.

PARKER: Hey. Sister here. Do, don’t try. Remember the music I’ll be playing on repeat if you end up haunting me.

EULALIE: (laughing, on the verge of crying) I will.

ALICIA: Okay, I think we’re up, Parker.

SFX: Keys jangling again.

PARKER: Wish us luck.

SCENE 58

SFX: Poltergeist sounds throughout. Phonograph crackling throughout. Ghost hunters chanting the words to their exorcism in the background throughout…

FRANKIE: (frantic) The beeping stopped like it did before… when the doctors had to rush to save her. And it’s been… it feels like an eternity. Too long. The beeping should’ve started again. But it hasn’t. Which means Eulalie’s (pause) dead. And it’s all my fault. 

Why did she ever have to fix you, phonograph? Why couldn’t she have just left you rotting on a shelf. Then none of this would have happened. I’d be sleeping. She’d be alive…

No. No, I shouldn’t blame her. I chose to haunt her. I deserve this.

DANNY: (OFF) Keep pushing everyone, it’s working!

FRANKIE: (sobbing) I don’t want to die.

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) don’t. die.

FRANKIE: Who… Who said that? Is there another ghost here? Hello?

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) home. stay. safe.

FRANKIE: The pain must be driving me distract–– the pain. The pain is gone.

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) home. safe. sweet. stay.

FRANKIE: You’re… The apartment? You’re doing this?

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) home. yes. stay. home.

FRANKIE: If I decide to stay, you can protect me? Is that what you mean?

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) home. safe.

FRANKIE: But what if I don’t want to stay?

SFX: Poltergeist sounds amplify.

FRANKIE: I’m going to be obliterated. Great choices, as always. Who was I to think the afterlife would be any different?

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) stay.

FRANKIE: (crying) I was going to look for my family. And wear every kind of pants. And rescue ghost animals. 

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) home. safe. stay.

FRANKIE: I was going to finally be free.

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) stay.

SFX: Chanting continues, but it suddenly sounds crackly like a phonograph recording…

FRANKIE: I… I’m not ready to just stop existing. Surely it’s better this way. Surely…

SFX: Frankie’s phonograph recording crank’s up and starts playing from “Better by far you should forget and smile…”

FRANKIE: But Eulalie stopped existing. Because of me. (Sniffling) I’ll do it. I’ll stay.

SFX: Fluttering paper.

FRANKIE: What’s this? 

SFX: Paper crinkles.

FRANKIE: (Reading) Tenancy agreement.

APARTMENT: (whispers, bouncing and refracting) sign

FRANKIE: Is this really…? (Sighs) What does it matter? It’s either this or oblivion. May I have a pen?

SFX: Pen appears with a poof sound. Frankie signs.

FRANKIE: There. It’s done.

SFX: Across the house, the front door bursts open. Mary, Josie, and Eulalie shout Frankie’s name.

CREDITS

SFX: Theme music (simple guitar with spectral oohs and ohs and occasional cymbal crashes) fades in

COURTNEY: (V.O.) This episode of The Way We Haunt Now is written, directed, and produced by Courtney Floyd with voice acting (in order of appearance) by:

MARNIE: Marnie Warner as Parker

COURTNEY: Courtney Floyd as Eulalie

KIRA: Kira Apple as Mary Bangs

BRAD: Brad Colbroock as Cas Bromley

TAL: Tal Minear as Myrtle

LINDSAY: Lindsay Zana as Danny

PAUL: Paul H. Rollins as Nick

ELEANOR: Eleanor Grey as Frankie

VARIOUS: Dan Gold, Stephanie, Jeff Goldman Ali Hylton, Paul as the Apartment

JESSICA: Jessica Winston as Alicia

BECCA: Becca Marcus as Lota

GEORGIA: Georgia Mckenzie as Josie

TIM: Tim Lowe as Jon Harker

COURTNEY: Whether you’re new to the spirit world or simply a ghost in need of some entertainment, you can visit www.hauntnowpod.com for more episodes as well as information about our cast and crew, content warnings, transcripts, and links to our social media. 

SFX: Theme music fades out

COURTNEY: Remember to haunt responsibly!

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