- The Way We Haunt Now
- Episode Sixteen – The Breakthrough
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EPISODE 16: THE BREAKTHROUGH
by Courtney Floyd and Georgia Mckenzie
COURTNEY
All episodes of The Way We Haunt Now deal thematically with death and dying. Many contain mild horror elements. This episode contains depictions of alcohol consumption and inebriation. Take care, listeners.
BACKGROUND SFX: Theme music (simple guitar with spectral oohs and ohs and occasional cymbal crashes) fades in…
GEORGIA
This is The Way We Haunt Now Episode Sixteen: The Breakthrough
BACKGROUND SFX: Theme fades out…
SCENE 39
AARON
(overlapping, echoing and distant)
But… I recovered. I recovered! How could I have a heart attack? I’m 25. The sickness wasn’t supposed to affect me, but I beat it. This has to be a mistake, someone has to fix this. I’m not supposed to be here.
YLENA
(overlapping, echoing and distant)
Madre de Dios, sabes que soy atea, pero…estoy tan asustado. Aqui, va… Madre, donde estas?
HENRY
(overlapping, echoing and distant)
I thought I’d see Luella. Tiny. Anybody I knew. But, it’s just strangers.
LOTA
Please, please. We need you to calm down!
AARON
Calm? We are DEAD!
YLENA
I am supposed to be planning my sister’s wedding! I got sick and now I’m here! Why?
JOSIE
I…I am so sorry––
SFX: Smashing of glass.
AARON
––I want answers, not pity! What do you have to do with us being here!?
JOSIE
Nothing. We have nothing to do with any of your deaths.
LOTA
We’re just trying to help you. Help you get settled in.
AARON
I WILL NOT SETTLE. I WANT ANSWERS!
SFX: Aaron manages to bang his fists on the wall. Several lights spark and blow out. He groans.
YLENA
Oh my god, now the lights are going too?
LOTA
No, this is why you need to calm down. Yes, you’re dead. But the more emotions you feel, especially anger and fear, the more you affect the living world.
JOSIE
Like this young man, who just blew out a few bulbs.
AARON
I can’t believe this. You’re saying I… blew out the lights?
SFX: A chair is pushed back.
HENRY
Son, I get it. You have every right to be mad as hell. We all do. But right now, we need to learn what the hell happened to us and what our presence here means
AARON
I’m not your son!
HENRY
And I’m not your dad. But I am old enough to tell you that getting angry without knowing where to direct that anger is a good way to waste some perfectly good rage. How about we listen to these ladies so you can figure out whose butt to kick? If we can still kick butts, ma’am?
LOTA
(stifles a giggle)
GHOSTS
(laugh awkwardly)
JOSIE
Well, Mr. ….?
HENRY
Henry, pleased to meet you. Pleased to meet all of you.
JOSIE
I’m Josie, this is my friend Lota. And, uh, yes, you can “kick butt” even though… you’re dead.
LOTA
Yeah, we’re going to help you do that.
JOSIE
But first, Lota will tell you all she knows about this pneumonia or whatever, because that’s why all of you are here.
SFX: Click and motor of a power wheelchair as Lota moves to the front of the room.
LOTA
Okay, here’s what I’ve learned. The humans don’t really know it yet, but there’s a massive pandemic going on…
SCENE 40
BACKGROUND SFX: A trippy, out of this world soundscape with ticking stopwatches; we’re in the Veil. All voices here sound echoey.
SFX: A distant knock that suddenly gets clearer and more immediate, a door creaks open
GEORGE COLWAN
…yes?
MARY
Mr. Colwan? We’re here about a book you wrote a long time ago, and I…
SFX: Colwan slams the door in Mary’s face. More knocking ensues. After a bit, the door creaks open again.
COLWAN
Can’t you take a very unsubtle hint?
GEORGIE
Trust me, she can’t. It’s not in her constitution.
MARY
I just have a few questions, and I wouldn’t ask it if weren’t a matter of––
COLWAN
(sarcastically)
––life and death?
MARY
Afterlife and oblivion.
COLWAN
(sighs very dramatically)
Well, if you won’t be scared off I suppose I’d better offer you some tea. I won’t promise answers, though.
GEORGIE
(cheerfully)
I’ve been dying for a decent cuppa.
MARY
We don’t have time for––
COLWAN
(as if he hasn’t heard Mary at all)
My butler haunts the best tea shops to be sure we’ve got first pick when teas go off.
GEORGIE
What a clever plan.
MARY
(despite herself)
Ohhh, do you have any lapsang souchong?
COLWAN
(offended)
Of course. What sort of household do you think this is, young lady?
BACKGROUND SFX: Fades out.
SCENE 41
BACKGROUND SFX: Television running in the close background, applause and a laugh track, and jaunty theme music.
FRANKIE
It’s such a strange household, when you think about it. Six young people with mostly low-paying positions, in such commodious apartments…
PARKER
How did you get to that conclusion after two episodes?!! It took most of us the whole series to realize that.
FRANKIE
I grew up in London. Even a century ago space was a commodity.
PARKER
That…huh. That makes sense.
SFX: Ominous poltergeist rumbling just barely fades in
THE APARTMENT
no. buddies. competitive. confectionary.
PARKER
So you can marathon Death’s Cookery but two, two episodes of Buddies and you’re done?
THE APARTMENT
(growls)
SFX: A telephone rings…and keeps ringing.
FRANKIE
Are you going to answer that?
THE APARTMENT
answer.
PARKER
No.
SFX: Phone keeps ringing.
FRANKIE
What if it’s your sister?
PARKER
Oh, it is my sister.
FRANKIE
Oh, then why…
PARKER
All she’s going to do is try to convince me to go back home. Ugh, God. I don’t know if you had older siblings but they can be so… infuriating sometimes. It’s like they think they know what’s best for you better than you do.
FRANKIE
I had brothers. They mostly stayed away, after I got sick. (muttering) They took after Papa in that regard…
PARKER
Oh.
FRANKIE
I suppose, in different circumstances, I might have been the infuriating older sibling.
SFX: poltergeist rumbling starts back up.
THE APARTMENT
bake.
FRANKIE
(yelps)
Oh! We’d better switch this.
PARKER
On it.
SFX: Remote control clicking, followed by the peppy Competitive Confectionary theme music; fast piano, a cockerel crowing, the cracking of an egg and electric whisk.
COMPETITIVE CONFECTIONARY TV HOST
(on TV)
This week in the yurt, bakers must master this provincial American favorite. That’s right: it’s snickerdoodle week.
SFX: A timer rings.
MARISSA
(on TV)
Oh, no. They’re making us use American measurements. What is a cup? A dash? A pinch? (sighs) This is going to be such a disaster.
WILLIAM
(on TV)
Snickerdoodle. Snickerdoodle. Snickerdoodle. Snickerdoodle. Such a fun word, that. Is it a type of biscuit, do you think?
EMM
(on TV)
I had a snickerdoodle once. It wasn’t to my liking, really. Biscuits should be crisp, right? This thing was puffy and chewy and somehow soggy at the same time. (pauses) Maybe I just had a really bad one, eh? Let’s hope so. Oh dear.
SHERIDAN
(on TV)
Biscuits are gonna be the end of me. The only things I’m really good with are cakes. What if I reimagined the snickerdoodle… ah, nope nope. It’s the skills challenge. Best not to be reimagining a biscuit as a cake in the skills challenge. But a nice cinnamon sponge? Who wouldn’t like that more than a weird biscuit?
SFX: Competitive Confectionary theme. A timer rings at the end of it.
SCENE 42
SFX: Alicia’s apartment room tone. Eulalie drops her phone onto the couch.
EULALIE
She’s still not picking up.
ALICIA
I’m sure she’s fine. She has the tattoo to prevent her from becoming a poltergeist puppet. She’s probably still ma––
EULALIE
––You think she’s still mad?
SFX: Short beat of silence as Alicia doesn’t disagree.
EULALIE
You think she’s right to be mad!
ALICIA
I just think… (sighs) You’re treating her the way she was treating you. You aren’t trusting her to be an adult and make her own decisions.
EULALIE
But she’s only here because of me. And I’m fi–––
ALICIA
(clears throat, interrupting Eulalie)
EULALIE
(correcting herself)
––getting better.
ALICIA
True. But maybe she’s not here only because of you. Maybe she’s staying for her own reasons. Maybe she needs this.
EULALIE
I… never thought of it that way. (pause) But if she doesn’t let me know she’s actually still alive in the next hour or so, I’m going to have to do something. It’s been almost a week.
ALICIA
Please, just don’t do anything reckless while I’m at work, okay? (flirty) I’d hate to think you need medical intervention and that your doctor isn’t there to help.
EULALIE
(flustered)
I. Um. Okay. Have a good shift!
SFX: Sounds of Alicia grabbing keys and bag and then the door opening and shutting.
EULALIE
(sighs, then reads aloud as she composes a text)
Parker? Please just let me know you’re okay…
SFX: Smartphone typing transitions into next scene.
SCENE 43
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
So. We’ve slept on it. Are we doing this or what?
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
Let’s do this.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
MYRTLE
I still vote no. If we do this, we’re probably going to cause a bunch of innocent people to break up. If we leave it, what, a few people get haunted and learn not to break and enter?
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
I hate to say it, Danny, but I agree with Myrtle on this one. As much as I need more data for my diss, I don’t think the end is worth the means, here.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
Are you all forgetting that we’re dealing with a poltergeist? This isn’t just some run of the mill haunting. It’s a big deal.
SFX: Message sending sound.
DANNY
Maybe it will stay contained. Maybe it will be the source of a never-ending cycle of tragedy.
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
MYRTLE
That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
I… forgot about the whole breakup spell thing. Um. Is it too late to change my vote?
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
That’s majority, Danny.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
No. This conversation isn’t over.
SFX: Message sending sound; Smartphone typing…
DANNY
I refuse to…
SFX: Message sending sound; Smartphone typing…
DANNY
You’re all ignoring me now?
SFX: Message sending sound; Smartphone typing…
DANNY
JFC you step up to be the voice of reason against ghosts and what does your team do? Ghost you.
SFX: Message sending sound.
SCENE 44
BACKGROUND SFX: Outdoors; traffic passing in the background, birdsong.
SFX: The crunch of Eulalie’s bike on pavement, clattering as she leans it against the garage door. She steps up to the front door.
EULALIE
(whispering to herself)
This is a bad idea.
But she still hasn’t responded to any of my texts. There’s giving someone space and then there’s being oblivious while they’re in mortal peril and–– (huffs) That was dramatic, even for you, E. Let’s just get this over with.
SFX: A creak as she opens the screen door. Sudden poltergeist rumbling in the background that crescendos; a scream as Eulalie is thrown backwards, landing on the ground with a grunt. Rustling as she gets to her feet and returns to her bike.
EULALIE
Okay. OKAY. I get it. (weirdly jealous) You have my sister now and you don’t need me anymore. I’ll just go…
SFX: She gets on her bike and rides off.
BACKGROUND SFX: Slowly transitions to the interior of the apartment where we hear the room tone and the poltergeist rumble fading. Sounds of Competitive Confectionary show clearer as rumble fades.
COMPETITIVE CONFECTIONARY TV HOST
(on TV)
In a surprise turn of events, our judges found all of the pastry the contestants presented competent. There were no soggy bottoms. There were, however, two clear victors in this quarterfinal weekend in the yurt. William, whose blueberry, apple, brie pie earned him a handshake from Mary. And Sheridan, whose hatch green chile apple pie, a recipe he learned from a distant cousin in the States, blew the judges’ tastebuds and their minds.
(to contestants)
Are you ready to hear the judges’ decision?
ALL BAKERS
(on TV)
Yes! Oh, go on!
COMPETITIVE CONFECTIONARY TV HOST
(on TV)
Right then. This week’s confectionary champion is…drumroll please…
SFX: Flashback to earlier in the scene, as the Apartment rumbles and Eulalie’s scream can be heard in the distance.
PARKER
(speaking over TV)
What’s upset it now? We’re watching Competitive Confectionary.
FRANKIE
Who knows.
THE APARTMENT
no. interruptions. quarterfinal.
COMPETITIVE CONFECTIONARY TV HOST
(on TV)
Sheridan!
SHERIDAN
(on TV)
(cry laughs in surprise and delight)
MARISSA
(on TV)
Awww, Sheridan, congratulations!
EMM
(on TV)
Congrats, love, you did great!
WILLIAM
(on TV)
Well done.
SFX: Cut to confessional style with William and Sheridan, with the show’s music underneath it.
WILLIAM
(on TV)
I’m never going to wash my hands again. I mean, of course I will, I’m a baker. It’s kind of required. But, that handshake. For my mum’s pie recipe? (welling up) I’m going to make that pie so often my partner is going to get sick of it and leave me. Because how could I not, after getting a handshake from Mary?
SHERIDAN
(on TV)
My parents aren’t going to believe it. Me? Confectionary champion in the quarter final?? Well, Mum will believe it. She always knew I was destined for great things. But Pop? I’m going to have to make sure he takes a seat before he hears. Ahh. I can’t quite believe it myself. Confectionary champion.
(laughs)
Okay, okay. I’d better call.
SCENE 45
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
The poltergeist just attacked someone.
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
MYRTLE
Okay, now you’re just making stuff up. That’s pretty desperate, Danny.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
No. I have it on video. Here. I’m sending it.
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
Holy shit. That woman went flying.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
Look, I’m not going to say “I told you so,” but all that woman did was walk up to the front door.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
MYRTLE
That person looks kind of familiar.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
Isn’t it the tenant?
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
Ooh, you’re right.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
So. If this thing is capable of attacking people who don’t even go inside, I say we have to do something about it. Despite the risk.
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
…I agree
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
MYRTLE
Dammit, Cas!
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
No, Danny’s right. This went from maybes on both sides to maybe we cause some unintended breakups or the poltergeist definitely attacks random passersby.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
Uh…can I maybe sit this one out?
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
Hey, man, who are you and what did you do with my most gungho comrade?
SFX: Message sending sound; phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
I’m a man in love with an elf.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
DAMN IT
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
NICK
I mean,woman. I think my little cousins did something to my autocorrect.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
Ooookay, we definitely believe that, buddy.
SFX: Phone notification as Danny gets a text.
CAS
Anyway, we should probably start planning for exorcism ingredient retrieval.
SFX: Smartphone typing…
DANNY
On it.
SFX: Message sending sound
SCENE 46
BACKGROUND SFX: A pub; there’s the hum of a busy room, the clink of glasses and sound of people moving. This is a real place. There just happens to be a ghost bartender.
EULALIE
(gasps and burps as she finishes her pint, coughs; her speech is slurred)
Anyway, Alicia thinks Parker has a right to be upset. And maybe she does, but at this point I’m just worried. She won’t even answer her phoooone.
GHOST BARTENDER
That’s understandable. She’s in a dangerous situation.
EULALIE
Right. So, I went over. But I couldn’t even get in the door. The apartment tossed me almost to the curb.
GHOST BARTENDER
Ooh, that’s harsh.
EULALIE
Which is ridiculous, because a few weeks ago? It was practically slavering to eat me.
GHOST BARTENDER
…poltergeists don’t really eat––
EULALIE
––Or keep me, anyway.
GHOST BARTENDER
Sure. That sounds confusing.
EULALIE
It is. Because I don’t want to be kept. But, like, I did like living there, and now I can’t even––
SFX: Phone starts ringing, cutting Eulalie off mid-sentence.
EULALIE
––sorry, let me just…
SFX: Eulalie sends the call to voicemail.
GHOST BARTENDER
(muttering)
Well, isn’t that just a pot and kettle situation?
EULALIE
Huh?
GHOST BARTENDER
I said, would you like another round?
EULALIE
Oh. Yeah, uh-huh…
BACKGROUND SFX: The pub sounds fade out.
SCENE 47
BACKGROUND SFX: Sounds of nature and traffic on a mildly busy neighborhood street.
EULALIE
(voicemail message)
You’ve reached Eulalie Reed. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you.
ALICIA
Dammit, Eulalie! Answer your phone.
SFX: Footsteps as Alicia walks towards the ghost house. She knocks on the door.
BACKGROUND SFX: Traffic noise fades, replaced with the sounds and chimes of the ghost house.
LOTA
Who could that be? Josie, do you mind?
JOSIE
(mumbling with a mouth full of pins)
I do, but fine.
SFX: A louder, more insistent knock.
JOSIE
(yelling)
Coming!
SFX: The door opens. The traffic can be heard through it, but fainter.
JOSIE
Alicia! What are you doing here?
ALICIA
Josie, great, you’re home. I need your help––
SFX: Power wheelchair motor as Lota pulls up to the door.
LOTA
Alicia? What happened?
ALICIA
I was just about to say.
JOSIE
Well, now you can tell two ghosts with one sentence.
ALICIA
Eulalie. She’s missing.
JOSIE & LOTA
Missing!?
SFX: Power wheelchair motor and joystick as Lota moves back to her room
ALICIA
Where’s she going?
JOSIE
Who knows. Anyway, we haven’t heard from Eulalie. When did you last speak to her?
ALICIA
This morning, when I left for my shift at the hospital. (beat) We were having an intense discussion about Parker.
JOSIE
So, an argument.
ALICIA
(sigh)
Well, yeah. And she’s not answering my texts or my messages.
SFX: Power wheelchair as Lota returns.
LOTA
OK, let’s go.
JOSIE
Go?
LOTA
We’re going to help you find Eulalie and since she’s not here, that means we need to leave…
ALICIA
One can’t say you aren’t a woman of action, Lota.
JOSIE
No, one cannot. Well, I guess I can always work on these new clothes designs later. Our newest ghosts will just have to deal with hospital gowns for a bit longer.
LOTA
Why was Eulalie looking for Parker, Alicia?
ALICIA
Eulalie is… concerned that Parker is still over at Frankie and that possessive apartment’s. She’s scared for her, I think. Worried that apartment has latched onto her in some way.
JOSIE
Scared? Or, maybe, she’s feeling a little abandoned?
ALICIA
Abandoned? That’s ridiculous! She nearly died!
LOTA
Yes. But for a while, she was very important to that place.
JOSIE
Her place. She chose that apartment and it chose her back. Now, it’s moved on to her sister. And she’s moved on to––
LOTA
––You. I mean, you are definitely more special than a lonely apartment. But in a way, she lost something that made her very special.
JOSIE
A co-dependent walk up flat that nearly killed her.
ALICIA
Uh-huh. You know what, I won’t even argue. Human emotions are hard enough to figure out. Semi-sentient apartments? Nope, nope, not gonna try. It still begs the question, where is Eulalie?
LOTA
I have an idea. Let’s head over there first and I’ll see if any of the local wildlife have seen her.
JOSIE
Sounds like a good place to start. Let’s go.
ALICIA
(sighs)
I’ll meet you there.
SFX: Power wheelchair moving away.
SCENE 48
BACKGROUND SFX: A trippy, out of this world soundscape with ticking stopwatches; we’re in the Veil. All voices here sound echoey.
COLWAN
(sighs)
I suppose you’ll have questions?
MARY
Yes.
COLWAN
Well, fire away. (sips tea) But I feel I must warn you that I may not answer. A writer’s process is a sacred thing, and all that.
GEORGIE
We aren’t here to ask about your writing, as such.
COLWAN
I feared as much. Mm, mm, mm. You’d rather bask in my célébrité? Acquire an autograph for your collection? Obtain a lock of my flowing––
MARY
––no.
COLWAN
(disappointed)
Ah, you’re here about poltergeists.
GEORGIE
That’s it, in a nutshell.
COLWAN
I’m afraid I can’t help you in that case. There was a time I naively answered questions about poltergeists night and day. I thought I was doing a public service. But all anyone wanted was to learn how to create poltergeists, and not how to stop them from harming more innocent ghosts. Do you know how annoying it is when some jack wagon comes up to you and says, (high pitched voice) “Hi, can I please, like, um, make a poltergeist or whatever from that movie, that horror movie, and just, like do this, do that?” (groans, back to his voice) It gets annoying after a while.
MARY
But that’s why we’re here. Well, not to stop a binding. But to figure out how to undo one.
COLWAN
(incredulous)
Undo a binding? Undo a binding! My dear girl, if I knew how to undo a binding don’t you think I’d be shouting it from the proverbial rooftops?
MARY
My dear boy, I don’t know you well enough to say either way.
COLWAN
(coughing)
Quite right. Well. I’ve witnessed my fair share of bindings. I can tell you all about how they happen. Share the gory details of what happens to ghosts who blunder into hungry habitations. Gruesome stuff. But undoing a binding… (muttering half to himself) Why, you’d almost have to get to know the poltergeist to accomplish that. Convince them to let the poor blighter go using their own logic. It’s… it’d be too dangerous. The ghost doing the investigating would risk being consumed him–– er, themself. No. No, it simply wouldn’t work.
(pause)
Would it?
GEORGIE
(whispering to Mary)
He’s forgotten we’re here.
MARY
(whispering back)
Yes, well, I expect he doesn’t get much company these days. Tea not withstanding. But he’s made an intriguing point?
GEORGIE
(excited and forgetting to whisper)
Has he, really?
COLWAN
(snaps back into the present)
I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t be of any help.
MARY
We understand. I just have one more question, if you don’t mind.
COLWAN
Go on.
MARY
When you said “their own logic” just now, what exactly did you mean by that?
COLWAN
Did I say that aloud? Hmm. It’s simple, really. Poltergeists aren’t monolithic, even if we think about them as such. They each operate by their own rules, their own logic––a logic that stems, of course, from their location, their construction, their very architecture. A poltergeist in a medieval castle will operate differently from one in an apartment complex. Oh, the end result may be the same, but the reasons will be strikingly distinct.
MARY
I see…
COLWAN
I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more assistance.
MARY
(muttering to herself)
I think you’ve been just helpful enough.
COLWAN
What’s that?
MARY
Thank you for your time, Mr. Colwan.
GEORGIE
Yes, thank you. For the time. And the tea.
BACKGROUND SFX: The veil ambi fades out.
CREDITS
BACKGROUND SFX: Long version of the theme (simple guitar with spectral oohs and ohs and occasional cymbal crashes) fades in…
COURTNEY
This episode of The Way We Haunt Now was written by Courtney Floyd and Georgia Mckenzie with sound design by Brad Colbroock and voice acting, in order of appearance, by:
BECCA
Becca Marcus as Lota
DAVID
David S. Dear as Henry
MARITZA
Maritza Rodriguez as Ylena
DANNY
Danny Spiller as Aaron
GEORGIA
Georgia Mckenzie as Josie
IVAN
Ivan Divino as Assorted Ghosts
KIONA
Kiona Bashful Echo as Assorted Ghosts
ARIANE
Ariane Marchese as Assorted Ghosts
JOSH
Josh Portillo as George Colwan
MARGARET
Margaret Ashley as Georgie Yeats
KIRA
Kira Apple as Mary
ELEANOR GREY
Eleanor Grey as Frankie
MARNIE
Marnie Warner as Parker
ALI
Ali Hylton—
JEFF
Jeff Goldman—
KIRSTY
Kirsty Woolven—
MEGAN
Megan Gwen Davies—
NATALIE
Natalie Hunter—
ALL APARTMENT VOICES
—as The Apartment
COURTNEY
Courtney Floyd as Eulalie
JESS
Jessica Winston as Alicia
LINDSAY
Lindsay Zana as Danny
PAUL
Paul H. Rollins as Nick Castlewaight
TAL
Tal Minear as Myrtle
BRAD
Brad Colbroock as Cas Bromley
TIM
Tim Briggs as Competitive Confectionary Host
SARAH
Sarah McManus as Marissa, a Competitive Confectionary contestant
ALEXANDER
Alexander Doddy as William, a Competitive Confectionary contestant
ELEANOR ANWEN
As Emm, a Competitive Confectionary contestant
ADAM
Adam Lloyd as Sheridan, a Competitive Confectionary contestant
DARRAGH
Darragh Ó Broin as the Ghost Bartender
BACKGROUND SFX: Theme music fades out…
SFX: Faint pub ambience, the Ghost Bartender’s voice echoing slightly.
EULALIE
(slurred)
Fill ‘er up.
GHOST BARTENDER
I’ve been dead for awhile now, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what it looks like when someone’s had enough to drink.
EULALIE
(beligerantly)
Another. Puhleeeaaaseee.
GHOST BARTENDER
Actually, y’know what? I do have something good on tap. Just a second.
EULALIE
Hey! What are you doing with my phone?
GHOST BARTENDER
Filling your order. Just one moment…