- Eulalie’s Audio Journal
- Entry #1
- Other transcript formats
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CW: This episode contains depictions of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. Take care, listener.
Theme, rhythmic guitar picking with drone and slightly out of tune violin, fades in…
This is Eulalie’s Audio Journal Entry #1.
Theme fades out.
Eulalie starts her phone recorder. Clears her throat.
I didn’t tell my therapist about the ghosts. Not… exactly, anyway. I had to tell her something, because… well… (sighs) I just don’t feel like I’m making that much progress, most days.
Like, (pauses, huffs) I know Frankie isn’t trying to hurt me anymore. I know she couldn’t hurt me, even if she did want to, because she’s trapped in my old apartment. Which… fuck. I loved that apartment. It was lonely sometimes, sure. And I was a wreck when I moved in. I’d just broken up with Nate and… it wasn’t always pretty, the living that went on in those walls. But it was the first place I ever lived on my own. Like really on my own. No friends or family or romantic partner were waiting to catch me if I fell. I think I was really starting to come into my own there, and…
I’m getting off topic.
I told my therapist that it sometimes feels like I’m being haunted. Not that I was haunted or that I went on a rescue mission with ghosts or anything like that. Just a feeling, not a reality. A safe half-truth.
And she said that sometimes our minds invent ghosts to communicate things that are happening in our bodies. Emotions. Chemical imbalances. Whatever. Sometimes, we haunt ourselves, basically. And when that happens, it’s important to try to be honest about what’s really going on.
And then she asked me if I journal.
So, here I am, trying out this audio journaling thing. Somehow audio feels more accessible than paper right now, which is (laughs) ironic, considering. But I’m willing to try pretty much anything.
Because I feel like I should be happy, or at least fine. I’m alive. I’m out of the hospital. I have my sister here and a new… friend to spend time with. And I know Frankie isn’t trying to hurt me. I believed that enough to try to help her. And I’m glad I did.
But part of me is still bracing against the sound of that phonograph crackling to life. Part of me is still haunted. And I think that part of me always will be. I think that… part of me wants to be?
Motel door opens and closes, Eulalie clears throat and fumbles with phone.
Hey! Dinner’s served! And before you ask, yes I did get you a peanut butter shake to go with your fries.
EULALIE (calling to other room)
Yeeeees. This is why you’re my favorite sister!
Uh, only sister.
Parker and Eulalie giggle. Eulalie fumbles under the blanket to end the recording. Theme fades in…
Eulalie’s Audio Journal is a miniseries that takes place between seasons one and two of The Way We Haunt Now. This episode was written and produced by Courtney Floyd with voice acting by Courtney as Eulalie and Marnie Warner as Parker. Our theme music is “Wrong Start” by Courtney.
We’re releasing these episodes as part of our season two fundraiser. Find out how you can help us keep haunting at igg.me/at/hauntnowpod