- Eulalie’s Audio Journal
- Entry #5
- Other transcript formats
- For more information: www.hauntnowpod.com
- Twitter: @HauntNowPod
- Instagram: @HauntNowPod
CW: This episode contains depictions of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. Take care, listener.
Theme, rhythmic guitar picking with drone and slightly out of tune violin, fades in…
This is Eulalie’s Audio Journal Entry #5.
Theme fades out. Recorder chimes.
Alicia’s apartment room noise. Alicia snoring in the distance?
Look, I know what this is going to sound like after my last few journal entries. I’ve been having a rough time, and those entries reflect that. But today, for the most part, was a good day.
I know. It sounds like I’m trying to convince myself, just like I’ve been trying to convince Parker and Alicia. But it was. A good day, I mean. I talked Parker into taking a “me” day, and after she headed out I biked over to Alicia’s.
You’d think the traffic would make me jumpy. And, fair, I’m probably never going to feel okay when a bus goes by ever again. But really, traffic hasn’t bothered me much.
My ride across town was gorgeous. It was one of those sunny late-Autumn days when the air is nippy with the promise of winter, but there are still a few stubborn leaves clinging to the trees. And there’s something about the slanting of the light, the way a solitary leaf occasionally floats to the ground like a boat heading to a new shore.
I relaxed for the first time in weeks.
There’s so much up in the air that I need to figure out. Where I’m going to live. If I’ll still have a contract at the university, since I “took leave” without permission. I mean, I was in a coma, so permission was a little tricky, but… (sighs) I’m getting sidetracked.
(Deep breath) It was a good day. I relaxed. I spent the day doing nothing with Alicia, and I fell asleep on her couch. I didn’t worry about the ghosts I saw. I didn’t flinch at unexpected sounds. I didn’t lock myself in the bathroom. (Pause) I didn’t worry about Parker and pretend to be okay so she’d be okay.
I tried to explain it to Alicia. That I’m not okay and I am okay. That I need room to be both. And I think she understood.
I need to tell Parker, but I’m afraid she won’t understand.
Anyway. I just wanted to record this so that I have proof on the bad days. Today was a good day. They can still happen.
Eulalie turns off the recorder. Theme fades in…
Eulalie’s Audio Journal is a miniseries that takes place between seasons one and two of The Way We Haunt Now. This episode was written and produced by Courtney Floyd with voice acting by Courtney as Eulalie. Our theme music is “Wrong Start” by Courtney.
We’re releasing these episodes as part of our season two fundraiser. Find out how you can help us keep haunting at igg.me/at/hauntnowpod