We’re officially casting for season two – See this Google doc for details, or scroll down to read here!
The Way We Haunt Now: Season Two Casting Call
- Title: The Way We Haunt Now
- Project Type: Independent Audio Drama
- Union/Non-Union: Non-Union
- Length: 10 episodes, apprx. 20 mins long each
- Recording Period: July-September 2021
- Recording Location: Remote only; asynchronous recording
- Compensation: Based on number of appearances, but all roles are paid (see pay scale below)
- Audition Deadline: July 18th
NOTE: All VAs must be 18 or older and willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) as part of their contract.
Audition Instructions
- Please record on the setup you would use if cast!
- Leave 10 seconds of room tone at the beginning of the file.
- Slate your name and the character you’re recording for.
- If you’re auditioning for multiple roles, save each as a separate file.
- Do not audition for more than 3 roles.
- Do not submit more than 2-3 takes per role. Where:
- Take 1 = a baseline performance of the lines as written
- Take 2 = your spin on the lines / character (adlibbing welcome!)
- Take 3 = optional; anything more experimental you’d like to try
- Your audio should be raw – not cleaned or treated in any way.
- We’re looking for reasonable quality – no echo, compression, or background noise.
- Save your file as a WAV recording: CharacterName_YourName.wav
- Submit via THIS FORM.
- If you have questions, email hauntnowpod@gmail.com
- Do not submit auditions to this email, they will be ignored.
- Actors of all experience levels are welcome to audition!
- Several roles are written for VAs of certain groups. If you are not a member of that group, do not audition.
- Some characters are written without a specific gender, while others have set pronouns. We invite transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming VAs to audition for any character they would feel comfortable playing.
- Actors with speech differences are welcome to audition for any role.
- Please audition in your natural accent.
Again, auditions will only be accepted through this form, unless you have made other arrangements directly with Courtney. If you have accessibility concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out via email (hauntnowpod@gmail.com) or Twitter @HauntNowPod to make alternative submission arrangements. Auditions submitted through any other means will be deleted unopened.
Content Warning: The Way We Haunt Now is a lighthearted horror series about death. In season two, we will have a storyline that engages with COVID deaths. Some roles will be heavily involved in this storyline, as noted below.
Available Roles
Pay scale:
- 1 episode = $10 and a show sticker
- 2+ episodes = $1/line or $10, whichever is greater. And a show sticker.
Closet Ghost – Open Casting. This role is comprised entirely of sarcastic and campy hissing and other ghost sounds. [2 episodes]
- Very scary hiss or growl
- Dramatic hiss
- Sarcastic moan
- Half-hearted hiss
- Sarcastic hiss
Georgie Yeats – This character uses she/her pronouns. She was once married to an infamous poet. This role is open to VAs from the UK and Ireland. [4 episodes]
(NOTE: you do not need to read Mary’s lines)
SIDE 1
GEORGIE
D’you know, I’ve speculated that the veil is actually the event horizon of whatever comes next? It’s timeless and malleable because we’re slowly being pulled toward, through, into something vast and new?
MARY
That’s fascinating. And it makes so much sense.
GEORGIE
I know. You know what else is fascinating? How much you talk to yourself. Do you do this all of the time, or is it more of a big-moments thing?
MARY
I…
GEORGIE
Actually, let’s put a pin in that. We’re here…
SIDE 2
GEORGIE
Feck.
Angry British Chef – This character uses he/him pronouns, and is a parody of a certain TV chef. You know the one. This role is open to VAs from the UK. [3-4 episodes]
SIDE 1
ANGRY BRITISH CHEF
Drop the skillet, Billy! No, wait. Not even the cockroaches deserve to be served this… abomination.
SIDE 2
ANGRY BRITISH CHEF
Did you learn how to cook from a dozen inept rats in a stolen chef’s jacket?! What’s wrong with you???
SIDE3
ANGRY BRITISH CHEF
Even my grandmother could chop onions better than that, and she’s dead Billy! Her ghost has terrible knife technique. Do you understand what I’m saying?!
TV Show Contestants (4-5) – Open casting. We’re looking for 2 or so actors for each TV show. Nationalities designated below are flexible, so hit us with your best reality TV voice. But please choose either bakers or chefs sides. [3-4 episodes]
Nice British Bakers
SIDE 1a
I felt like the cat’s silk pajamas last weekend, I really did. But I’ve had a disastrous day, and I think I’ll be the one heading home.
SIDE 2a
Marissa’s gingerbread bedroom diorama with the princess cake bed… it’s… I mean… I would’ve never dreamed of making anything like that. You know? She’s a genius, that’s what she is. Dollars to donuts she’s going to win this thing.
SIDE 3a
I’m never going to wash my hands again. I mean, of course I will, I’m a baker. It’s kind of required. But, that handshake. For my mum’s pie recipe? I’m going to make that pie so often my partner is going to get sick of it and leave me. Because how could I not, after getting a handshake from Mary?
US Chaos Chefs
SIDE 1b
(Gagging) I hate eggplant. I mean, I know, we’re on Death’s Cookery. We have to be proficient with all of the nightshade family plants. But c’mon?!! Eggplants. I’d rather gnaw on chef’s dead grandma’s foot. No disrespect.
SIDE 2b
It’s like, I was supportive when Billy was running the hot plate, but like, as soon as I get up there he’s gonna sabotage me?! It’s on, Billy. Oh, it’s on. You better watch that pretty backside because I’m coming for it.
SIDE 3 b
(crying dramatically) But for chef to say I have the palate of a raccoon?!! When my father basically died to send me to culinary school??!!! (sniffles) I mean, not died died. Like. He had a very uncomfortable summer since he couldn’t go to the club that year. But that wasn’t really related to my being in culinary school, it just kind of happened at the same time. But. (sniffs) The point is that I have a refined palate. My father paid a lot of money to make sure of it. (huffs) (mutters) It’s at least the palate of a very pampered house cat.
TV Show Hosts (2) – Open casting. We’re looking for one VA with a US accent and one with a UK accent. [3-4 episodes]
SIDE 1a
US Host
This week on Death’s Cookery our contestants encounter some unusual ingredients, learn how terrible their palates are, and play mind games to try to edge out the competition. We’re one week closer to finding out who will win the executive chef position at the world’s premiere columbarium-turned-michelin-star-restaurant, Last Meal.
SIDE 2a
US Host
This week on Death’s Cookery, a disastrous scallop gets one of our top contestants sent home. Meanwhile, Dave and Sam’s will-they-won’t-they chemistry sets off a chain reaction that has unprecedented effects in our surprise challenge…
OR
SIDE 1b
UK Host
After his big win last weekend, Sheridan bombed in our skills challenge. Poor bloke. So, a lot is riding on his showstopper. But will this precarious stack of ambitious shoe buns be enough to get him to the quarter finals?
SIDE 2b
UK Host
This week in the yurt, bakers must elevate this provincial American favorite. That’s right – it’s snickerdoodle week.
Ghost Librarian / Living Librarian – Open casting. [1 episode]
Reference note: the school librarian from Bob’s Burgers but darker/more mysterious and sincere. Like Zelda from The Magicians.
SIDE 1
Welcome to Special Collections. What can I assist you with today?
SIDE 2
(NOTE: you do not need to read Mary’s lines)
LIBRARIAN
(with entirely too much enthusiasm) That’s not even the good bit.
MARY
The… good bit?? What kind of librarian are you, actually?
LIBRARIAN
A bored one. Anyhow, as I was saying, the good bit, as you yourself noted when you were perusing our finding aids and therefore didn’t need to hear from me, is that the author himself lives just down the way from here.
George Colwan – This character uses he/him pronouns. This role is open to VAs from the UK. [1 episode]
Reference note: Bilbo Baggins, Brendan from GBBO series 3
SIDE 1
Well, fire away. But I feel I must warn you that I may not answer. A writer’s process is a sacred thing, and all that.
SIDE 2
I’m afraid I can’t help you in that case. There was a time I naively answered questions about poltergeists night and day. I thought I was doing a public service. But all anyone wanted was to learn how to create poltergeists, and not how to stop them from harming more innocent ghosts.
Ghost Bartender – Open casting. [1 episode]
(NOTE: you do not need to read Eulalie’s lines)
SIDES
GHOST BARTENDER
Harsh.
EULALIE
Which is ridiculous, because a few weeks ago? It was practically slavering to eat me.
GHOST BARTENDER
…poltergeists don’t really eat––
EULALIE
Or keep me, anyway.
GHOST BARTENDER
Sure. That sounds confusing.
Ylena – Open pronouns. This role is only available to VAs of Latinx heritage. [4-5 episodes]
Note: This role is part of our COVID storyline.
SIDE 1
I am supposed to be planning my daughter’s wedding! I got sick and now I’m here! Why?
SIDE 2
Oh my god, now the lights are going too?
Aaron – This character uses he/him pronouns. Newly dead and furious about it. [4-5 episodes]
Note: This role is part of our COVID storyline.
SIDE 1
––I want answers, not pity! What do you have to do with us being here!?
SIDE 2
I can’t believe this. You’re saying I… blew out the lights?
Henry – This character uses he/him pronouns. This role is only open to Black VAs. The character is an older person. Mature and calm. [4-5 episodes]
Note: This role is part of our COVID storyline.
SIDE 1
Son, I get it. You have every right to be mad as hell. We all do. But right now, we need to learn what the hell happened to us and what our presence here means.
SIDE 2
I’m not your dad. But I am old enough to tell you that getting angry without knowing where to direct that anger is a good way to waste some perfectly good rage. How about we listen to these ladies so you can figure out whose butt to kick? If we can still kick butts, ma’am?
Assorted Ghosts – Open casting.
Note: the assorted ghosts will make a variety of ghostly sounds and possibly some crowd noises; these mostly aren’t speaking roles.
SIDE
(spoken quietly and in a “normal” [not ghostly] voice, as if you’re talking to someone sitting next to you during the previews at a movie theater)
Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow. The five boxing wizards jump quickly. And Waltz, bad nymph, for quick jigs vex.